“Holding on to what you thought you wanted or what you thought was the perfect ideal limits you from opening up to things that could be so much better. Because you never change when things are comfortable and life is good, or good enough – then you don’t see why you would make an effort to do things that are incredibly hard. It is only when you are brought to your knees and it feels completely unbearable that you step in to that possibility, allowing yourself to change, since it destroys everything and what you worked all your life for and thought you wanted, and it forces you to revalue your life and set new goals, and set different goals that you had never looked to attain if everything had been perfect.”
In this way new people, things and options can enter your life.
So you have to look beyond your previous dreams and expectations, and ask yourself what is the best life you can have from where you stand now, given the restraints that exists. You have a choice in which path to take from there and have to find the motivation to move beyond that expectation hangover of having your expectations not being fulfilled and hence becoming a disappointment. Remember that you always have choices whatever happens to you or around you.
– Mostly Jodi Cohen (otherwise Keesha Ewers)
”You may think that violence can change things, but the moment you take to violence YOU will change”
– Quote from a documentary
So I live differently than you
and the rest of the family
I have another faith
and it is apparent in my life style and clothing.
And this is the way for over a decade.
But it could have been worse.
I am tired of defending myself.
Against the society norms, against my family, against the school system, against the false prejudices, against the verbal abuse.
As if it couldn’t be worse.
As if it had been more accepting if I had been worse.
Since that’s the norm in society.
Even if my siblings are decent, good people.
I don’t get the fuss.
Or I get some of it, since they are a product of their society.
So they don’t like it, don’t accept it, don’t want it, because they don’t believe it themselves.
They want me to be like them or adapt to their way of life and get irritated and upset when I stubbornly adhere to my own.
Still, I don’t go tell them what to do or how to change.
I don’t tell them to live life the way I live it or force myself upon them with what I want.
Then of course,
I could have been worse in a lot of ways.
I could have been an alcoholist
But I don’t drink at all and I have never been drunk.
I could have been a drug user
But I have never tried any of it
I could have been smoking
But I have never done that either
I could have been a criminal
But I ain’t
I could have been a narcissist
But I am not
I could have been abusive or behaved bad in general
But I don’t
I could have became a nun, having no kids and lived in total seclusion
But I am not
But I live differently
And it means I don’t do the things they do
But they don’t do the things I do either
So what’s the problem really
They make me feel childish and selfish
I am not in reality
But I have a faith that I believe in and I follow it the way I believe is right. Which means, I don’t simply follow it the way others follow it. And I don’t try to fit in or bend my faith backwards only to adapt to or integrate with or to please others, because that’s not how I believe in it. Besides, I don’t believe they would be pleased with me anyway until I do it the way they think I should, by living life the way they think I should. Since that’s the right way according to them. But why is it not OK that I have my own opinion in a society that congratulates different opinions? Because it’s not OK when it comes to certain beliefs and it’s not OK when it clashes with the norm and with their traditions and life style.
Still, it could have been worse.
It all makes me sad and tired. Because I do care for others, and I do care for others feelings. But I must follow what I believe is right just like they follow what they believe is right. It’s just the way it is. I can’t do it half way. I do my best in following what I think is right. That’s just the way it is. And if that makes me to be called extreme and brainwashed and stupid and whatever, then what can I do about it really if I still don’t want to live this life in a certain way only to please them?
In other words;
my kids are well-fed,
I definitely clean up after them because every time I try new ways of make them do it, I end up having to clean up after them anyway since they don’t mind the chaos and rather wait for next Friday to do it, but I certainly mind it.
apparently they have LOTS of fun since the floors are covered with their stuff and clothes and a cleaning ritual only leaves the place shining for a very short period of time (we are speaking of minutes here ladies),
interestingly enough they did not mention the pile of unwashed laundry, or not even having the time for folding the washed laundry,
Yep, wet floors in the bathroom, checked,
Yes, please think twice, although I am pretty sure our place is in another league than what’s thought of here,
So, please make an appointment before anyway, please…
It is so much easier
*Be Like the Bee*
Imam Shams ad-Deen Ibn Qayyim al-Jawziyyah al-Hanbali رحمه الله:
كن فى الدنيا كالنحلة إن أكلت أكلت طيبا وإن أطعمت أطعمت طيبا وإن سقطت على شيء لم تكسره ولم تخدشه
❝ Be in this dunya like a bee, when it eats, it eats what is pure (i.e. nectar); when it feeds, it feeds what is pure (i.e. honey). And when it lands on something, it does not break it nor cause ruin. ❞
[ الفوائد – ص118]